“…Even the fairy tale of success saw me, a courtesan in the court of King Joffrey…”

“…the sign says ‘ if you abuse the man in the box , we won’t let you go to Wales’…”

“…Hazel negotiates with the big boys from enforcement…”

“…dialling 999 I feel my face drain, the operator knows me by my first name…”

“…If you invite a teenager to contribute visuals to your video you have to expect Hamster porn…”

A live song from Dusting For Prints album launch Nov 2013, where Hazel is so busy moaning about men being really nasty to her, that she manages to forget how to play her own song.

Fortunately John and Doug had enough foresight to position themselves onstage so they can see what she plays on the spur of the moment, as opposed to what they’d rehearsed, and cope without anyone noticing that she’s essentially making the song arrangement up as she goes along.

In her defence, she was thrown by being annoyingly upstaged by the roadie earlier on.

“…it’s hot as hell in here, you’ll burn up on entry , you’ll burn up if you come near…”

“…I’ll see you loved up, strapped down, tranquillised…”

Featured sterling cameo from the builder who had come to fit Hazel’s new kitchen who agreed to step up to the mark with a triumphal debut role as bored psychopath.

“…you’ve feasted on me, giving it open smile surgery…”

Surgery was originally recorded for Put Away The Sharp Knives but ended up on second album Death Row Bride

From third album Situation Normal Then, the tale of North Berwick witch Geilie Duncan

Hazel and Andy scaled North Berwick cliffs in the middle of the night with rucksacks of gear and recreated a witches' coven. There was a brief hissy fit over who got to light the flaming torches.

Found Cine 8 footage Hazel’s Dad shot of the Gala in the 60’s and had a go at filming from same places on the street.

Andy and Hazel met accidentally in the street. Turned out he had turned into a camera man and said he’d pop over with a camera and help her shoot a video in her spare bedroom.

He turned up with a camera. And a crane. And a dolly. At some point they realised they needed a magpie.

They rang round taxidermists from Yellow Pages until they found one. When he named the price Hazel must have blanched as there was a pause, then he said injuredly, “…mind you that includes the branch”

“…Night has fallen and there's nothing we can do about it

Night has fallen

Put on your life jacket…”

The Jesus Bolt is a component which represents a single point of failure with catastrophic consequences.

“…Lying on forest floor for hours in thin frock, I didn’t realize I was being bitten to death by some ghastly insect.…”

“…Old Czechoslovakian idiom a place where foxes say goodnight refers to a place so remote and desolate that even foxes would have nothing to say to each other there but goodnight. As opposed to being in Bristol, where they usually do it out the back by my bin.…”